I met David Wain once and he asked me if my name was Jill. It’s not.Tumblr (3.0; @courteney)http://courteney.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/cf91cabdeec60ee0c1bfdae1dbeb968a/tumblr_mn7nhhXjgp1qckp4qo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://whydoihaveablog.net/post/51088809539/theonion-woman-who-cracked-3-separate-iphone" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">whydoihaveablog</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theonion.tumblr.com/post/51080244694/woman-who-cracked-3-separate-iphone-screens" target="_blank">theonion</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h1>Woman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This August: <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-who-cracked-3-separate-iphone-screens-expect,32538/" target="_blank">Full Report</a></h1> </blockquote> <p>The Onion gives me feelings I’ve never felt for any other entity in my life.</p></blockquote>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/51108847358http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/51108847358Wed, 22 May 2013 20:18:28 -0400<iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JGoBoPf17u0?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p>For Halloween this year, I think I’ll be The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With At a Party. I’m not sure what my costume’s gonna be though.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/51042464571http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/51042464571Tue, 21 May 2013 23:00:40 -0400<iframe src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F93062442&liking=false&sharing=false&origin=tumblr" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" class="soundcloud_audio_player" width="500" height="116"></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://nprmusic.tumblr.com/post/50924649376/so-this-is-great-twin-sisters-katie-waxahatchee" target="_blank">nprmusic</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>So this is great: Twin sisters Katie (<a href="http://www.npr.org/artists/166018370/waxahatchee" target="_blank">Waxahatchee</a>) and Allison (Swearin’) Crutchfield cover <a href="http://www.npr.org/artists/150493938/grimes" target="_blank">Grimes</a>’ “Oblivion” for <a href="http://rookiemag.com/2013/05/theme-song-katie-and-allison-crutchfield/" target="_blank">Rookie Mag</a>.</p> </blockquote> <p>Somehow I did not know that Swearin’ and Waxahatchee were blood related and this explains so many things and feelings.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50960127648http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50960127648Mon, 20 May 2013 22:45:00 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/789871ec32856f9755cc33d191a419cd/tumblr_mn2yh9EtC41qzx2dyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>The other day I went to a delicious burger place and one of their burgers of the day was a chorizo burger and it was amazing but I wish it had been called the chorizo your own adventure burger instead and I am going to totally rip off the idea when I make a cookbook of all of the Burgers of the Day from Bob’s Burgers.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50885436195http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50885436195Mon, 20 May 2013 00:43:57 -0400<iframe class="spotify_audio_player" src="https://embed.spotify.com/?uri=spotify%3Atrack%3A1wP1qnWy0cZWxnbWkzf9La&view=coverart" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" width="500" height="580"></iframe><br/><br/><p>it’s me, you guys. i won the powerball.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50843174051http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50843174051Sun, 19 May 2013 15:33:24 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/9db30d295476c6294db7599b0f843c77/tumblr_mn0vj9roST1qzx2dyo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>Sometimes I see shit like this on Netflix and I’m like, go home Netflix you’re drunk, and then I remember that I let my mom use my Netflix account on her TV back home and then I realize that my mom must have watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 for some reason and then we all laugh and laugh and laugh!!!!</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50776213773http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50776213773Sat, 18 May 2013 21:45:09 -0400beverly hills chihuahuathat's where i wanna begimme gimme<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://foxmulderlosthissister.tumblr.com/post/50688251823/my-phone-doesnt-support-snapchat-so-just-send-me" target="_blank">foxmulderlosthissister</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>my phone doesn’t support snapchat, so just send me nudes in the mail and i’ll only look at them for ten seconds</p> </blockquote>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50709094844http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50709094844Sat, 18 May 2013 01:28:45 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/3133859930e2015b84fb82e37a8fa2a0/tumblr_mmxblhimAj1qzx2dyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>nah it’s cool I fixed it turns out I might know something about this five year old pc after all</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50629295786http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50629295786Thu, 16 May 2013 23:41:41 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/aba249e0271f88a5577030ea2252e024/tumblr_mmxap88IL91qzx2dyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>this is what happens when I try to open spotify please send help I just want to listen to the weakerthans</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50627977598http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50627977598Thu, 16 May 2013 23:22:19 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/36f2f39a7344de735228c72b68a5732e/tumblr_mmrps4JNEU1qzx2dyo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>THIS SHIT. PUT THIS SHIT IN YOUR LIFE AND NEVER LOOK BACK.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50394122912http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50394122912Mon, 13 May 2013 23:02:00 -0400vaselinesup vaseline you on tumblr yet?no literally that image is transparent so put it in your life<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/dbb0e5913995d4e07e57df35ee81fd22/tumblr_mmo3skWm3a1qzx2dyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Yeah okay.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50224450620http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50224450620Sun, 12 May 2013 00:14:43 -0400Postal clerk: Anything fragile or perishable?<br /> Me: Pop-Tarts? I guess those are kinda fragile. Cause, like, they could get kinda crumbly and then you can't really toast them, so that sucks. <br /> Clerk: <br /> Me: No. Nothing fragile. <br /> Clerk: Any liquids or perfumes or lithium batteries?http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50178604828http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50178604828Sat, 11 May 2013 13:18:47 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/f10b16096b477649781cca6869163787/tumblr_mml7ueHw1S1qz5yb4o1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://synecdoche.tumblr.com/post/50090929018" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">synecdoche</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>oh my god john darnielle oh my god</p></blockquote>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50135358195http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50135358195Fri, 10 May 2013 22:41:52 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/984d9d77dd9f0554726db394e01e7b57/tumblr_mmm11hmeev1qzx2dyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>do you guys even get what my instagram is about</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50129495346http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50129495346Fri, 10 May 2013 21:20:05 -0400<iframe class="tumblr_audio_player tumblr_audio_player_50119155757" src="http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50119155757/audio_player_iframe/courteney/tumblr_mkplwl7Nnn1qzx2dy?audio_file=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tumblr.com%2Faudio_file%2Fcourteney%2F50119155757%2Ftumblr_mkplwl7Nnn1qzx2dy" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" scrolling="no" width="500" height="169"></iframe><br/><br/><p>do you guys even get what my blog is about</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50119155757http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50119155757Fri, 10 May 2013 18:46:59 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/1a8053007da8e769df9345ca870a547d/tumblr_mmkiad2MEC1qbg3ylo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://themorallycorruptfayeresnick.tumblr.com/post/50072337795/23-union-busting-cats-of-the-90s" target="_blank">themorallycorruptfayeresnick</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>23 union-busting cats of the 90s</p> </blockquote>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50093366005http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/50093366005Fri, 10 May 2013 11:41:50 -0400<p>Today I made a coworker look at my scalp; apologized to a coworker for making her look at my scalp.</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49989291596http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49989291596Wed, 08 May 2013 23:48:11 -0400<p>yesterday my friend said the beer I was drinking tasted like a Christmas tree so I guess I finally know what to tell people when they ask what kind of beer I like</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49887197661http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49887197661Tue, 07 May 2013 18:57:31 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c3fbd9b672331a51ee8896ad0908d206/tumblr_mmg02oeadK1qdx4ugo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/d3533647cefe8b321e8879309ec74770/tumblr_mmg02oeadK1qdx4ugo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://slacktory.tumblr.com/post/49872622887/dilf" target="_blank">slacktory</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>DILF</p> </blockquote> <p>in2 it</p>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49872693112http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49872693112Tue, 07 May 2013 15:45:51 -0400<iframe src="//www.tumblr.com/video/courteney/49736940295/400" id="tumblr_video_iframe_49736940295" class="tumblr_video_iframe" width="400" height="400" style="display:block;background-color:transparent;overflow:hidden;" allowTransparency="true" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a href="http://blog.petervidani.com/post/49735262810" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">petervidani</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>this song is on repeat in the bathroom at Mission Chinese Food</p></blockquote>http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49736940295http://courteney.tumblr.com/post/49736940295Sun, 05 May 2013 21:15:53 -0400