I met David Wain once and he asked me if my name was Jill. It's not.
Postal clerk: Anything fragile or perishable?
Me: Pop-Tarts? I guess those are kinda fragile. Cause, like, they could get kinda crumbly and then you can't really toast them, so that sucks.
Me: No. Nothing fragile.
Clerk: Any liquids or perfumes or lithium batteries?
do you guys even get what my blog is about
Today I made a coworker look at my scalp; apologized to a coworker for making her look at my scalp.
yesterday my friend said the beer I was drinking tasted like a Christmas tree so I guess I finally know what to tell people when they ask what kind of beer I like